Several years ago I had to let go of a dream, a deep desire God had given me. It seemed strange to let go of something that God himself planted in my heart yet I knew it was right.
I had forgotten the story I told of this letting go until just recently. Now, on the other side of the struggles I see God was not asking me to give up on a dream but to place it forever in His hands so He could use it.
I had to lay down the dream of homeschooling our son and it was hard but little did I know it was only for a season.
For two years of PreK our little man attended a great Christian school in our county and grew tremendously. It was a wonderful experience for him and for me.
I was not looking forward to PTA meetings, fundraising, social events and the like. To an introvert like me these things are draining, and overwhelming.
But when I look at what those two years did for us I'm amazed by God.
We met some wonderful people and I was honored to aid in the elementary classes for a year and coordinate fundraising for two years. We met a dear family that we have remained friends with and were able to bless with our assistance on their farm.
God was weaving more golden threads in our story.
Lessons Learned
I had to let go of homeschooling so God could reveal the value of it to my husband.
In the two years Wyatt attended school it became clear that we could not live the lifestyle we wanted and be tied to a conventional classroom education. Sure, spontaneously missing a few days of PreK wasn't a big deal but first, second, third grade – they frown up on missing too many days even for “educational experiences.”
Brad needed to see this first-hand so he could understand how homeschooling fit our spontaneous, adventurous lifestyle.
We didn't know it at the time but God was calling us to full time RV living so we could minister to people by meeting needs. Homeschooling was going to be a an obvious and necessary part of the new lifestyle God was calling us to but my husband hadn't yet seen the value of a home education even though God gave me the desire long before.
It is one thing to lay down a dream begrudgingly to God. It's another thing to surrender it to Him and allow Him lead you and teach you.
Finding Our Philosophy
Our experience at private school was wonderful – his PreK teacher was a genuine woman of God with a heart for children. During Wyatt's time of learning and connection in PreK we were able to solidify our mission and goals for a home education.
I had been curious about the Charlotte Mason education and I knew that classic “school at home” was not right for us.
PreK allowed me to hear from God the direction we were to take with our home education.
God will provide direction when we fully surrender even our deepest desires to Him.
What's Your Story?
My story is of a dream near and dear to me: Homeschooling.
Your story may be totally different – a spouse, a child,a spouse, a heart desire unmet. Whatever it is if you've let go the dream ask God to show you what He's revealing on and working on in your life.
For me it was listening to and honoring my husband and allowing God to be in total control.
Laying down a dream does not mean the dream dies. It means God picks it up and crafts a better dream than you could have imagined as long as when you lay it down you don't pick up bitterness in return.
You see we often lay down our dreams, ideas, and plans with an attitude. We'll do it, God but you'd better come through with something we like or we'll live the rest of our lives reminding you of what we gave you.
It sounds silly, ridiculous really, but we do it and we pick up this bitterness and spite which ties God's hands because we have not truly surrendered.
Surrender means we cease resistance to; submit to authority. We never fully cease resistance when we pick up bitterness and envy.
By not getting mad at my husband for the “time lost” with our son I was able to see what God was doing.
What is God calling you to surrender today? It may be hard to cease resistance but you serve a loving, faithful God. Surrender today and find peace in His arms.
Jessica says
Beautifully written. It can be so hard to truly surrender, but how freeing it is when we do. God always has everything in control and even though we don’t understand or see, we can trust that He does have a plan.