I tossed around the idea of wearing skirts for some time. I had been (trying) to study out Scripture related to the philosophy of why many Christian women exclusively wear skirts……. But why be a skirt-wearing Christian?
My hesitation is an issue of the heart. Do I want to be an exclusive skirt-wearing Christian because the Lord is speaking to me about it, or do I want to do it because it somehow presents me in a light that I am “more Christian” or “more feminine” than others? Am I doing it because the buzz on popular Christian blogs is that skirt-wearing is the way to go as good, Christian woman?
Attaining an Image
In my mind sometimes, when I see a woman wearing a modest skirt and looking very feminine, I think how gentle and kind she must be. She must be a good housewife, willfully submitting to her husband and baking cookies every Thursday for the kids after homeschool. Her life must be simple and drama free. I mean she must be perfect, right?
The Lord has shown me that, for a long time, I have had this vision of skirt-wearing women. I liken them to Caroline from Little House on the Prairie and the life played out on television. There has been a draw in me toward that era in time when life was simple and chivalry wasn't dead.
But the Lord has asked me to ask myself the hard questions: Do I think being a skirt-wearing Christian will change my life? Do I think skirt-wearing will change my heart and make me a better Christian?
Changing My Life
Could skirt-wearing change my life? I see it as skirt-wearing is a change in my life. An outward expression of the unique femininity that I have created by God. In a world where the gender lines seem to be blurring more and more every day, skirt-wearing is a celebration of being feminine that the world can see.
Skirt-wearing is not going to magically throw me into a blissful land of homeschooling and cookie baking. Only the Lord can work out the details of my life and fulfill my desire to be a stay at home mom.
A Heart Change
I had a moment of revelation about skirt-wearing came to me in an unlikely place.
The bank.
I was making multiple deposits for work, so I had to go inside the lobby. Waiting in line, I spotted a young lady, probably mid-30's, in a cute denim skirt with a button up sweater and a cute pair of sandals. As I mentioned above, you can guess what I thought about her. I smiled inside and thought, “If I could coordinate an outfit like that, at least I’d look better when I wore skirts!”
The Lord arranged for her stay at the window to be long and my place in line to land at the teller next to her. As the money for my deposit was being counted I overheard her say a few things that did not sound very loving, kind or Christian.
Immediately I hear the Lord say to me (to me), “Wearing a skirt does not make you a better Christian.”
This is truth.
Being a Christian has less to do with our outward appearance and more to do with the attitude of our hearts.
For out of the heart the mouth speaks.
“…..for out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.”
~Matthew 12:34b
God is doing great things in my life and slowly working on my attitude, my thoughts and my emotions.
Don’t misunderstand. None of us is ever going to be perfect. We will lose our patience (no matter what you read online); we will have to continually pray that the Lord keeps our hearts pure. My point is that those things draw us closer to being like Jesus.
I pass no judgment on the woman at the bank. I have no idea where she’ll spend eternity or where her heart lies. Perhaps she is a beautiful Christian woman who momentarily fell into the trap of gossip and judgment (haven’t we all?)
God put her there to speak to me.
To remind me that He ultimately wants my heart to be right and pure before him.
Skirt-wearing is not going to change my heart. It is not going to help me learn to submit to my husband and allow him to take role, as head of our home. It is not going to make me more patient or a better mom. Putting on a skirt will not make me (or you) be less judgmental or less apt to gossip about a neighbor. Wearing a skirt can be a life-changing decision, but it must be made with the right intentions.
It's a bit like listening to Christian music. It is an outward change that may indeed help you and even remind you of the woman you want to be, but, at the end of the day, the music or the skirt is not making us better. That's the job of Holy Spirit as we submit out will to God.
How Proud We Are
We must be careful that putting on a skirt does not give us a false sense of pride. If we choose to wear skirts, are we somehow better than those women who don’t wear skirts? I think this is why I struggle with wearing skirts exclusively. I want my heart to be right about the issue; I do not want it to be so people with think I'm a Christian.
“And the person who keeps all of the laws except one is as guilty as the person who has broken all of God’s laws.”
~James 2:10 (NLT)
We see in James that no matter if it’s murder, gossip, immodest dress or judgment, we are just as guilty in God’s eyes. Thank you, Lord, for sending you son to pay the price for all of our sins!
As I mentioned earlier, I have always felt a pull toward women in skirts and the idea of Little Hous Living. Yet I can see myself easily slipping into pride in this area? How about you?
Have you ever thought more highly of yourself for your modest attire over someone else’s less than appealing wardrobe?
“If anyone thinks he is something when his is nothing, he deceives himself. Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take priced in himself without comparing himself t somebody else, for each one should carry his own load.”
~Galatians 5:12
If we are proud of who we have become in Jesus Christ and what we have learned through Him, that is awesome. We cannot find that pride in comparing ourselves to others.
Do you wear skirts, why or why not? What has the Lord spoken to you about this issue?
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I wear skirts because we are to look feminine .. ..it makes you look like a lady … It also says in the Old Testament not to wear a attire that is to a mans…. I don’t thinks dressing like a lady with skirts n dresses should make you prideful … It makes me humble … If that is expected of women in skirts … And u see some one not acting Christ like then pray for her … But that should not make you wanna start wearing skirts …. I thinks women in pants n jeans have a different spirit. …
Deuteronomy 22:5 … Is where it talks about men not wearing women attire n women not wearing men attire… It also defines difference between a man and a women …
I’ve thought about this too. I am all about looking feminine but my wardrobe has never been exclusively skirts and dresses. In my state that really is just not practical at all. But my reason for wanting to move that direction is more for honoring my husband. Today’s attires are so form fitting and revealing that you can know another person’s body just by looking at them across the room. I’m not about that.
So out of respect for him I try to tone it down.
One thing I know about Jesus is that he puts relationship with us above the law. The gospels are great examples of that. It’s part of his new covenant with us.
So really I think (like you said) this is more of a heart issue than anything. I don’t believe it separates the good Christians from the bad or the clean spirit from the lesser spirit. To me that is more religion than relationship and Jesus is about relationship.
“Jesus puts his relationship with us above the law.” I love that!
I wear skirts and dresses. But I agree wearing skirts does not make me a better Christian woman it is living the Christian life itself. Having the nine fruit of the Spirit manifesting in my life.
It is good to wear them but our hearts need to be in the right place. Our intentions matter all the time. We must do it for God’s glory alone and not to put other people down in pride and arrogance.
This is a hot topic and I liked how you handled it. Not in a judgmental approach but with wisdom and truth which is “Do it for the right reasons”.
I do wear skirts/dresses all the time. I think of it as a personal choice I have made in how I honor Christ and His Word, not a command. We ARE commanded to wear modest clothes (not drawing attention to our bodies) and to be distinct from men, and I believe I can best accomplish this in skirts. I am not proud of it, nor do I wish to pass judgment on those who don’t agree. I catch myself thinking poorly of others sometimes when they dress immodestly, but that’s whether it’s in pants or a skirt.
The most important part of our identity in Christ is our heart. The Bible talks about our adorning being a meek and quiet spirit, and part of our modesty being our shamefacedness. But I do believe when the inside has been changed, the outside will reflect that. Jesus told the Pharisees that they were like white sepulchres but full of dead men’s bones, and what they must do is clean the inside, and the outside too would be clean. If our heart is right, our appearance will follow and show forth modesty and femininity. And I have seen both of these in women who wear pants. And I am not perfect either, sometimes I struggle with my heart and sometimes I struggle with my wardrobe. The Lord must lead us, and deal with us, forgive us and cleanse us. All to the glory of His name!
Thank you for bearing your heart on this! Growing up wearing skirts, with a skirt-wearing mom, grandmas, great-grandmas, church, friends, etc, it was so good and thought provoking to hear this perspective. I agree wholeheartedly with the points you made in this article! Generations of skirt-wearing hasn’t made it any easier on me. 😉
You’re welcome Fonda! I’m glad you found it thought-provoking!
Blessings!
I personally don’t wear skirts because I don’t like long ones and short ones aren’t cute either cuz of non modesty and the ones in the middle are very awkward. Then you have tight skirts. Not okay. And Mumu skirts aren’t attractive on my body. So I don’t wear skirts. I looooove dresses and could wear them everyday. As a matter of fact, I think when I go to college I’m going to revamp my whole wardrobe into mainly dresses with the occasional jeans and a cute shirt.
I wear knee length & longer skirts and such because I believe that it’s the best way for me to dress modestly in an age of translucent tights as pants and a reemergence of midriff and bra tops. It’s something that I have fought with for several years – it’s genuinely something that was laid on my heart by the Lord when I was born again.
That said, I think that it can be a dangerous doctrine – certain denominations have created a bit of an obsession with it, among certain other “standards”, that push others away instead of pulling the lost to Him. I’m part of one such denomination, and I’ve distanced myself from some of this. Those more obsessed with denominational standards than the Lord say some TRULY venomous things, and it’s appalling. The main reason why I stay is because it’s the only one to preach the Truth.
So true! If the doctrine is pushing believers and non-believers farther from the Lord then the church is not doing what Christ died for us to do. So glad you’ve found what works for you in the wardrobe arena but glad to know you see the dangers in the legalism.
I’ve never read your blog before, I just came across this post on Pinterest.. Just had to say that I really appreciate this post. I’ve met a lot of women who wear skirts because they are ‘supposed to’ then they treat any woman who doesn’t as if she is less of a woman. This really turned me off from wearing skirts, until I realized that it’s a heart issue more than a clothing issue. Years later God began to change my heart about it, I now wear skirts exclusively and I love it! But It still seriously upsets me how so many churches pressure women into dressing a certain way. I find it extremely hypocritical. Thank you for speaking truth, God bless.
Thank you for stopping by Kaylee! I’m glad you’re sensitive to the heart of the issue here. You can be a wonderful example of a God’s love in a skirt without the judgement.
Blessings!
Thanks Kaylee. I appreciate your comment. Sorry for my late reply!
I think the bigger picture here is looking at our WHOLE lives, not just how we dress. I never wear skirts/dresses. I prefer jeans and dress pants or capris. I dress very modestly, and I do look feminine. I have very long hair too, no one would ever mistake me for a man 🙂 My LIFE is an example of my heart, not my clothes. I frequently get the feeling from a lot of “skirt wearing women” that I am not as righteous as them. Especially from some of my fellow home school mamas. Another thing to consider is vanity…..Do you wear skirts and dresses and then also wear a lot of make-up, dye your hair, get your nails done regularly, wear a lot of jewelry? Those things can all be problems too. I do understand why some women wear dresses and skirts all the time, and why some of us prefer not too. It’s what ‘s inside that counts the most.
This issue tugs at my heart often… I go back and forth on this one.. And covering my head… I currently wear jeans.. I have considered the past more then the present current events to help me come to a conclusion on this. For instance.. At some point in American history it would have been sin for women to wear jeans.. As they were strictly a mans thing. At what point did it stop being a sin? When it became the normal? But I do like the point you make here…. Now that gender is such a blurred line, it might be more important then ever for women to hold fast to their feminity.
One thing that holds me back is much like the woman who was next to you in line. If I “look” like a Christian. I need to ACT like a Christian. Especially in public. I will admit there are times when I am impatient with my kids in the store… Sometimes I feel like if I’m going to look the part, I need to act the part and be some sort of perfect Christian all the time.. So that those who may be unsaved see this obvious Christian acting impatiently, or ungodly in general and judge the Lord because of my behavior. I hope that makes sense?? Lol. I don’t mean to say I don’t feel the need to act like a Christian all the time, but I almost see it like putting on a uniform, and representing to the world who I am affiliated with. So I have waited until I am at that point.. However the only person who was ever able to represent the Lord perfectly all the time, was the Lord himself! So as I write this I see how ridiculous of an excuse this is, to not obey what God has laid on my heart… Gosh. Thanks for your article.. And the conviction!
Hi Brenda, thanks for commenting.
Yes, I know what you mean. But if you do wear a skirt, remember, there is still no need to pretend to be perfect. You can sin in a skirt or pants and God will still forgive you. 😉
I understand though what you mean by wanting to be sure you are representing your Lord well. I think this is why, for me, skirts exclusively was the last thing He wanted me to worry about. My heart, my mouth (oh boy, my mouth!) my attitude and my actions were His highest priorities.
You question of when it stopped being a sin in America. The “progress” movement and women’s liberation helped usher in pants but again, in the days of the flappers, they wore skirts and were still lose.
Blessings!
I started wearing modest skirts when I became a Christian and believed it was what God was calling me to.
In recent years I’ve been re-evaluating things and recognizing that the law of love is what Jesus valued (love the relationship rather than law statement someone made earlier). I’m older than I used to be and lo and behold, I’m no more perfect than I used to be – only MORE aware of my imperfections, LOL.
But also more aware of His wonderful, kind, accepting, encouraging grace!
Ironically, I have worried if I might actually be pushing people away, by my skirts, that might be more willing to consider Jesus if I dressed more like the people around me, none of whom wear skirts.
But the thing is, I’ve tried and tried to wear pants, and I just can’t wait to get my skirts back on.
Soooo, I don’t know whether it’s just my habit, or if it’s God’s gentle way of telling me just to stay the way I am and let Him work out the details of any witness I might have.
But I do trust Him to guide in all these things, and above all to grow the fruits of the Spirit in me and help me to reflect a little bit of His true beauty.
Thankful for everyone’s thoughts and experiences here. It’s all helpful!
In other words, I’m staying with skirts and asking God to please show me if I should do any different.
I have more freedom of movement in a skirt, am less self conscious, and can stay cooler or warmer according to the weather.
If I have to get on the roof or some other extreme activity like that, I’ll wear pants.
But for day by day ease and comfort, there’s nothing like a skirt……for me.
I realize this is an old post but I just came across it. I was in the same mindset as you in how I thought women in skirts and dresses were all sweet ladies who loved their family and were strong in their walk. I strived to be like this and I have always been told “dress for the job you want not the job you have.” Well the “job” I wanted was that of a Christian wife and homeschool mom. I want to be more involved in the ministry for other women and young girls, I want to minister to my family through strong homemaking skills and so much more. So in January of this year I made a complete switch. I have pj pants but other than that I have only worn skirts since then. I have learned that it doesn’t magically turn you into a better person BUT i do feel it encourages me, in some way, to be the woman I thrive to be. It sounds silly and is hard to explain. I have also noticed that when you dress more modest, especially more “lady like” people seem to be kinder towards you and show more respect. Men hardly ever hold doors anymore, or give up a seat. But I notice men treating me more like a lady when I dress and act like one. Sorry for the long post I just find so many advantages to it from making me behave more Christ like to being treated more respectably.
I also came across this post late, but I wanted to say that I wholeheartedly agree with your choice to wear dresses and skirts. As a Christian transgender woman, I too choose to wear skirts and dresses all the time as I feel it is a great way to express my femininity in a modest and godly way, and to differentiate myself as a lady. I don’t judge anyone on what they wear, I just prefer to dress in a feminine way that reflects a traditional female gender role, and it’s a good reminder to act like a Christian woman. I have worn dresses and skirts and long hair since I was a preteen and was even married in a wedding dress, so femininity is very dear to my heart. Skirts are certainly more comfortable year round, too!