I opened the latest copy of Above Rubies Magazine, and there before me are pages filled with encouraging stories all accompanied with pictures of the authors' families, complete with three, four, five, seven, even 10 children. Here I sit with one precious little boy and hear that doesn't know if we'll have more children but sometimes wishes we would. We are a single child family.
People with more than one child seem to always have an opinion, mostly in the form of a question:
You can't have just one.
He needs a playmate.
How will he learn to share if he doesn't have a sibling and you homeschool?
What if he can't live up to your expectations? (what………?)
Wouldn't you love to have a little girl running around?
You'll love them all, don't worry.(there's that word again, trust me, I'm not worrying.)
Children are a blessing from God; family should be quiver-full…it's biblical you know. (Ttell that to the woman who was told she can't have any more children….that's helpful and encouraging)
It's almost as bad as “Do you really want more kids??”
I don't mind if a friend sincerely asked if we think we'll have more children. I don't mind discussing my wanderings of do I/don't I, will we/won't we. That's what girlfriends do, we talk about that kinda thing.
I believe God has ordered each of our steps. I believe He knows the number of children every family it supposed to have and I just as we are all individually unique I don't think we are all supposed to have 19 kids and counting.
I don't know very many single child families, I think there is one other family in our church with one child and most of my friends have at least two. I don't envy them. I'm not jealous. I also don't wonder why on earth they want so many children nor do I think they are crazy for having so many kids.
I don't think on such things because I have settled within myself the likelihood that we will be a single child family and with that I have found peace. More would be nice but if it does not happen I will not spend my days wondering what could have been or envying families with multiple children. I have learned to be content where I am at, in this and many other situations. I remember the words of Paul;
I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well-fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ~ Philippians 4:12
Being content does not me we don't desire anything but rather we are at peace with where we are knowing that God has all things ordered and under His control.
In the end, one, two or ten children, every child is a blessing from God. Our family is a perfect size no matter if it grows or not. Wyatt is a precious blessing that 10 years ago I never even had a desire for. The Lord has changed our hearts and minds and if we never have another child that will be okay. Wyatt is our treasure from Heaven and a testimony of two lives redeemed for Christ, raising up the next generation of warriors for the Lord.
Letting Go and Letting God
Maybe your dream is more and more children. Or perhaps you have three beautiful boys and secretly long for a little girl. Ther'es nothing wrong with having desires and dreams. I believe God gave us imagination, longings and desires. Paul's words above were not a call to give up our dreams but rather to be okay with where we are at. We can still have a goal and even a plan in mind but we must always remember, God is in control. Surrendering your plans to God is hard but there's such peace that comes when we accept the current status for what it is and allow God to either fulfill the desires we have or change our desires so they line up with His.
If you're a single child family mama I encourage you to be content where you are even if you desire more and know the Lord is calling you to a larger family. Let Him guide your family size. Don't get caught up in wanting something so badly you forget what you already have.
How do you handle the questions about the size of your family?