Sexually integrity means more than waiting until the veil goes back to have sexual intercourse. Sexual integrity, which includes modesty and purity, reaches broad and wide into many areas of your life, like roots of a firmly established tree.
If you've been living a sexually impure life how can you change? Is it too late? Will you ever be able to be pure and walk with integrity again?
My friend, you can change. It is never too late. Walk with your head held high, knowing your God has washed you clean.
Regaining sexual integrity will require you to face facts and make some tough decisions. When the Lord walked me through the restoration process from my past I had to dig deep and make some changes. You will too. Here are some things you may consider doing:
#1 Change The Scene
Take a look at the landscape of your life. Where are you spending your time? Are they places that make it easier or harder to live a sexually pure life? What books are you reading? What movies are in your Netflix queue? What TV shows are on your favorites list? Are they encouraging you or making it harder to commit to the change God is calling you to? There are so many ways we have been infiltrated by improper sexual behavior that we don't even realize it. Change your scene so you can change your life.
Friends and even family may be holding you back. It is never easy to let go of friends and it is even harder to step back from family but it's often necessary. If you were a recovering alcoholic, would it be wise of you to hang out with your friend who drinks a bottle of Jim Beam every weekend? This issue is no different. Don't alienate your friends and family, try to invite them into the new life you're creating by doing different things together but at the end of the day, if they can't respect your decisions or they are negatively influencing you, they may need to be put in time out. Learning to establish healthy boundaries will help you make forward progress.
#3 Get A Mentor/Accountability Partner
Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on and a cheerleader to encourage them. Having someone to hold you accountable and mentor you as you learn more about your true identity and living a life please to God is an important step. As a budget and life coach, I know the importance of having someone in your life that can speak truth in an honest, constructive way.
#4 Unlike It
Who is popping up in your Instagram and Twitter feed? Is it drawing you closer to sexual integrity or tempting you to backslide? You may dig the latest housewife celebs or pop culture icons, but how are they influencing your thinking about how you dress and act? When you trying to make a change you need positive influences, even in your social media. Social media is a powerful influence – who are you watching?
If unfriending or unfollowing people will cause more drama than it's worth, Facebook's “Unfollow” feature is a handy tool. You can still be “friends” but you won't see them in your newsfeed. Learn how to unfollow someone here.
#5 Filter It
If erotica or porn is part of the trap you've found yourself in there are some great online filtering systems you can use to keep your screen time on the up and up. XXXChurch.com offers a monitoring software that alerts your real-life accountability partners of any questionable sites you've visited. It works on many operating systems, including iOS and Android. Best of all, while there is paid version you can start now for free.
Covenant Eyes is another fine choice for online accountability and filtering.
You are not alone in your struggles. Changing lanes from immodest behavior to sexual integrity will not be easy. Make no mistake, your biggest cheerleader is God. He is so pleased that you have realized what needs to change. He will lead you into the truth about biblical sexual behavior in the bedroom and beyond. He will tug on your heart and show you what needs to change. It's not just your hemline He's after, it's your heart.
For more in-depth help in moving past your past and walking a restored life, grab a copy of my book, Restoring the Lost Petal.