We all make mistakes. It's part of life. Some are easily fixed, forgiven and forgotten. But what about our past sexual mistakes? They often linger in the recesses of our minds for years. Then if we mention them we hear, “Just brush it off, mistakes happen.” Many well-meaning Christian friends tell us to just move on, God has forgiven us. They tell us we shouldn't dwell on the past and that it doesn't define us and while all of those things are true, past sexual mistakes seem to carry a weight like none other.
Sometimes they aren't our mistakes, but the mistakes or intentional acts of others that we end up carrying like a heavy yoke around our necks. We often cannot see them but we know something is there. Something isn't completely gone. Here are 4 signs that your past sexual mistakes are holding you back.
#1 – Thinking about past relationships
Do you find yourself dwelling on the relationships you've had in the past? Are your former sexual partners still part of your mental life? This is a sign that you have not broken off ties with them completely.
#2 – A Wondering Mind During Sex
Often times, when the past sexual experiences were good ones, we automatically go back to them. Maybe we even feel like we “need” to go back to them in order to climax. This is a bright light letting you know something is not resolved. Soul ties will keep your former sexual partners in your life for a very long time. Your marriage bed is for you and your spouse only (in mind and body) so getting rid of those thoughts is a must.
#3 – Inability to Let Go and Enjoy
If sexual contact always feels wrong even though it's right in God's eyes this is a key sign that you're stuck in those past sexual mistakes. If you've repented of those mistakes God has forgiven you and it is okay to enjoy sexual contact with your spouse. In fact, God has given you permission to do so.
#4 – Feelings of Guilt of Shame After Sexual Contact With Your Spouse
Does a rushing feeling of guilt and shame wash over you after you've had sex with your spouse? You tried to enjoy the moment and for a few seconds, you did. Then the lights come back on and you feel guilty and ashamed – almost used. There is clearly unresolved forgiveness that you must deal with to rid yourself of this guilt and shame.
In my book, Restoring the Lost Petal, you'll find my story of restoration and also ways to rid yourself of the guilt and shame through repentance and forgiveness. Grab a print copy or a digital download.
No matter what you have been through, forced, coerced or by your own will, God is a forgiving and healing God. You do not have to live tied to the chains of your past. There is freedom on the arms of Christ!