Can talking about sex make you sin?
It seems this is a popular belief among some Christians and I was surprised by the backlash that comes from standing up for truth and exposing evil. Well, sort of surprised.
When believers stand up to say, “Hey wait, I think this might be a slippery slope,” or, “Hey this is not a good thing to be doing.” We often accused of being judgmental, narrow-minded, prudish, and hateful. When you talk about sex, intimacy, and sexuality from a healthy, biblical perspective it's not popular. I fully expect negativity and the ever-popular Matthew 7:1 to be thrown at me by Atheists, Agnostics, and other religions. It's their favorite verse. It isn't shocking when half understood verses are hurled like snowballs during a neighborhood snowball fight.
What is shocking, well more like disappointing, is how the church responds when we talk honestly about sex. There's a misconception that talking about sex, pornography and erotica will somehow drive Christians to sin. The church culture would rather stop at salvation and skate around the tough issues. I'm not sure that's what Jesus did.
I don't write about biblical sexuality because I woke up one day and thought, “I think I'll write a bunch of posts that and make readers uncomfortable.” I wrote Restoring the Lost Petal to show women there hope. I write about tough topics like gender, infidelity, and pornography because someone has to share truth with grace and love.
The idea that we are making sin worse by exposing it is lie and scheme of the devil. It is NOT the mindset a Christian should have. We cannot expose darkness by hiding in our prayer closets.
Here's a snippet of this mentality:
“Once you became a voice for the book “Pulling Back the Shades” my interest then began to wonder what Fifty Shades was about…………. I was not curious enough to watch the trailer or read even a page but decided to look up the title. What I read was evil and there were pictures that rotated through in a window on that page. What was once far off, had now been brought near to my heart simply because some Christian authors are bringing it attention. This exposure of Dr. Juli and Danha is not necessarily doing good, but also bringing innocent women into a world of curiosity and evil…………….. These women in my opinion are stirring up something in hearts that may end up not being glorifying in the end. For Dr. Juli to say she watched the trailer that was enough for me to discount her book. God's Word says to flee – that means run – not take a peek.”
Guard, then Google
Many things about the comment above make me want to cry. First, we are all born with the tendency to yield to temptation. This gal's yielding to the temptation is the issue not the warning to not look. She didn't guard before she googled.
In scripture, we see Jesus doing some very counter-cultural things and hanging out with sketchy people. Do you think He never overheard a course joke, saw a boob or heard the sexual exploits of the people around Him? He was in tune with his Father. He was fully man, temptations and all, yet He was in constant communion with his Father.
We must be in constant prayer, guarding our hearts when we address issues such as these. I attended a conference with Dr. Juli when she told us she literally read 50 Shades on her knees, in a posture of prayer as to be continually submitted to God. She did not curl up on the couch with popcorn and candle light or lie in bed and read before she drifted off to sleep leaving memories to linger and sink in. She positioned herself with the King before she confronted evil.
A fellow champion of restoration and hope, Anny Donnewald, owner of Eve's Angels, does go into dark places to be a light and to show women trapped in the sex industry there is hope and freedom. Sometimes we have to get dirty to do God's work. Dirty hands don't make a dirty heart.
In Restoring the Lost Petal, I discuss erotica novels and the benefits of this seemingly harmless past time. It's isn't a dare or lure for you to go read the latest erotica release, it's a wake-up call if you are, and insight if you're not. Why do you need insight? Becuase it's likely you have a friend who is reading erotica and doesn't understand the implications.
We are students of God's word, Jesus' ministry, and Holy Spirit's guidance. We are observers of the enemy's tactics. There's quite a difference. One is done in order to replicate, the other to gain insight in order to fight. Football teams study the films of their opponents, it doesn't make them switch teams.
“Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents,
and harmless as doves.” ~ Matthew 10:16
We are His boots on the ground saving people from themselves. We are light carries exposing expose evil. What insight do you need to help those around you? Understanding the hidden struggle that comes with promiscuity, abuse, or sexual indiscretions will make you wise, not take your purity.
If you're looking for more in-depth discussion on biblical sexuality, check out my book Restoring the Lost Petal.