Thanks for joining us for the second half of our Introduction to Courting. We've talked about some aspects of courting and today we're going to explore some benefits. It's hard to think of courtship as relevant and realistic in America today yet there are many benefits to courting. Today Dakota from The Christian Guy's Life share some of the benefits to courting.
Now that we have an idea what courting is (and some of the benefits it carries) let's really dive into why you should court! As stated in the last post, I am not saying dating is sinful, or that courting is the only way to do relationships right, but I am going to share some of the reasons I believe everybody can benefit from courting!
Courting protects our hearts
When we reject the pattern of having relationship after relationship, we protect our hearts in several ways. For one thing, we don’t get hurt as much. Breakups are one of the worst experiences on Earth! They hurt! And when we breakup with someone we have usually already given them our hearts (or else it wouldn't hurt so much) and we rarely get it back completely. We will carry their memory into future relationships whether we like it or not. The fewer relationships we have the fewer people who have part of our hearts and the less damage we have done to it through heartbreaks!
Courting protects our attitudes
Divorce rates in our country are at astronomical levels! Part of this is probably due to what I like to call “disposable spouse syndrome” which is a progression of “disposable girlfriend/boyfriend syndrome”. You see, when we engage in the pattern of starting a relationship and then breaking up over and over, we tell ourselves that running away during hard times is OK. We make our significant other “disposable”. Once we get married we cannot simply turn off this habit. We will carry it into our marriages. This attitude will rear its ugly head when we hit a rough patch in our marriage (yes all marriages will have those). We will start to wonder if we can just do what we did before, breakup and find someone new.
This attitude is not something we are born with but something we are taught. We are taught that it is ok to just leave when times get tough both through watching and listening to others, and practicing this in our pre-marriage relationships. Courting combats this attitude by not letting us practice it! Since courtship does not start until two people are reasonable sure marriage is what they want for each other, it is much more serious and deliberate. Most people will not have a bunch of different courtships. Most will have less than a handful! This encourages the one-partner-for-life attitude we need!
Courtship protects our integrity
Obviously, we discussed accountability above but I want to reinforce its importance here. One of the most frequent questions I get asked about courting is whether it is really necessary once we become adults capable of making our own decisions. According to the scriptures, though, we all need to be watchful. We all fall short of the glory of God (Romans 10:23), and Jesus said Himself that, “the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak” (Mathew 26:41). When Jesus said this He was speaking to his disciples who were adults!
Obviously, God thought we needed help at any age! Accountability helps us to obey God, honor ourselves, and save our minds and bodies for our future spouses!
Courtship helps give us wise counselors
Another aspect of courting, and really life in general, that we underestimate is having wise counsel! The Bible encourages us to seek wise counsel several times (Proverbs 12:15, Proverbs 11:14, Proverbs 19:20-21). Relationships may be one of the most important places for us to seek wise counsel! Most of us become blind to “red flags” in a relationship when we get excited about the person we are with! Having wise, trustworthy counselors will help us make wise decisions!